the first beggar

a post mid-sem sunday afternoon. i was sitting on the wall of campus-cafe with my 'precious', cup of tea and a cig in the left and hangover from sat nights Rum in subconscious. one can not expect any better exact, the one, give-up all the way, like me, on a post mid-sem sunday noon. escaping through the furious debate (one can better call it a post-mortem) of yesterdays question paper at 4th wing hostel parking, i preferred to see through the mix of nicotine smoke in tea vapours at tea joint. as of days, sunday used to be was not only the insti holiday but the cafeteria also. however, a small tea come cig joint used to run through a small window of cafeteria on sundays for the give-up junta like us.

at once i saw Shankar walking towards the tea joint, all-alone. i could guess something burning in his mind as he walked with a cup of tea and sat beside me on the half-a-feet wide wall, a little awkwardly. four sips of tea side-by-side, in silence. i guessed it would be definitely something about the quiz paper.

'why did he behave so partial among students' shankar halted his cup just before his lips.

'prof did a partiality!' i could not get this bouncer clearly; and that too prof Dutta. 'why you think so?' i asked. 'you are so good at transition theory, you must have done tons in yesterday’s exam, get over it now' i went a little more. silence again.

i never liked to do, but shanker opened-up the topic. 'forty eight of class junta, spitted in two back-to-back classrooms, was fighting for the three hours and 40 points. remember the last class of instability? he (prof dutta) told that it was going to be just a topic of further interest and nothing from there would be considered as topic for mid-sem.'

'yeah, i do and so didn’t take any pain to revise it. it might be unfair in your view that if he intended it just as topic of further interest he should not have put that last derivation for 10 points. anyway, let it be, how does it affects you? its all known that nobody in class could make that attempt a success and so all stand on the same platform, loosing 10 points.' i tried to move him out of it.

'no yaar, i am not cribbing for it. so far i do now know very well insti profs psyche. they would do this at times just for ...' he went on. i got, he was damn on the topic and there is something more than what meets to ears. 'you, me, sattu, dada all were in the same hall' shankar put his cup down. 'me in second-row-second-last bench in front of you and there dada somewhere in middle of third row.'

'yeah, last half an hour i gave-up my efforts for the last 10 points' i said, something, just like that.

'exactly!' he bounced back, 'everybody was trying to get the hell-out for the last theorem and prof was having a mischievous look all over in the class. he came near my desk when i was struggling to get ahead of fourth stage. he returned, while going back, near dada's desk he stood for a minute and then gave a clue to him. he did not stop at this but went to the next hall to write key on blackboard. is it not partiality with us?'

'anyway, it all happened in last three-four minutes and i bet even god would not have made it from there in so less time.' i tried to soothe him while throwing the half-burn butt of finished cig as long as possible. i then got up to get another pair of tea cups.
the silent lake beauty in the front was appealing to eyes that winter afternoon as the loads of tea vapours emerging to catch the smoke on the left. but shanker in mind was to busy in auditing the gain-loss of quiz points. as the hot tea was going inside perhaps the hangover was coming out, don’t know what came to me and i started again, 'shanker, you know about my hometown ...'

'aurangabad' he replied coldly.

'correct, indeed!' i continued, 'when i go to my home during insti holidays, what i most like is the journey. at first, i usually go to dadar because from there it is easy to get any private travel agent. actually, dadar has got lots of travel agency shops. the pedestrian path will be full of those guys, everyone inviting you. but once you paid them, they will make you wait a long time for the bus. i generally book my ticket at either of counter and pass the time roaming in the hawkers market till the bus arrives. most often light a cig and enjoy watching people busy in doing all nonsense business. while i stand at a place, i see a lot of beggars passing by. a variety of beggars i see there, some appear to be really needy and some apparently fake! i see a very old lady begging to the folks on the street. i feel very bad and merciful for her situation and decide that when she will come to me i will definitely give her a coin. i observe her approaching towards me from the other end of street. as she makes an appeal to the man standing next to me, he just rejects her plea asking her to move ahead. not sure, but this instance definitely makes an impact to me as i am the next candidate in her queue. to my surprise, i too say heartlessly 'NO to her and move a little away in rejection. the poor goes ahead! after pumping smoke for a while, i start feeling guilty, very guilty. i think, i should have given her a rupee, what i would have lost a big by that? i put my hand back in the pocket to get one, but by that time she would have moved a long ahead. i start feeling bad as i could not give her a rupee. the feeling of guiltiness becomes as worse as the time passes. then i see another beggar after some time. this time the beggar doesn’t appear as needy as the previous case. an when he comes to me, without loosing a moment, without any second thought, i get 10 rupees out and just give it to him. and then i feel a little better.'

'what the f...?' shanker asks with a fear if i am going insane talking like this.

'shanker, me too don’t know what on earth brought this to my mind but i think there is an analogy!'

'don’t tell me any more stories yaar! perhaps you should have some lemon water as well. i told you many times, not to booze to that level on sat nights.' shanker tried to dose me again.

'shanker, lets recall what happened on yesterdays quiz. prof already knew that the last problem is gonna to much with students. i agree, he might had enjoyed the mischief in earlier time while he saw everyone breaking down their heads on desks, as he was roaming through the desk rows in classrooms. he knew very well that the topic had not been taught to that level in classroom actually. now when he came near to you and saw that you are really trying hard to recall and to construct he felt a little guilty. just like me when i refuse the old poor lady beggar a single coin. he saw some more students in same situation as he made his way back, which could have possibly only made his feeling of guiltiness even more bad. then he came near dada's desk. may be dada was also putting efforts. but this was the avalanche for profs feeling and he did the same what i do. he just gave a clue to dada and then knowing that not enough time is remaining he went straight to the next hall and wrote the clue on board. you should not forget that he also came back to our hall and did the same. it could be another point that the quiz time was already finished by then' i just tried to explain shanker.

throwing his half cup of tea shanker got up and went straight, i don’t know where. i did not attempt to ask or call him. for next two days didn’t see shanker in mess, nor in cafeteria, not in labs too! i was feared if i said anything wrong to him.

wednesday night, i was back at the same tea joint and shanker came to me with two tea cups! i could only wait with freezing blood to what he may say .....

'i initially thought you called me ‘the first beggar’!' shanker broke the silence and we both bursted in gags.



Note: names of characters and places have been changed.

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